“No, God. I don’t want what you have for me. I know better. I want what I want for myself instead.”
I want a king.
For those who don’t know, I am currently going through the Good Morning Girls “1 Samuel” series (though, I am very behind, I am still going!). I’ve never read 1 Samuel before (yes, there are books of the Bible I haven’t yet read), so it’s interesting to see “new” parts of God’s word.
One thing I’ve consistently noticed is Israel’s rejection of God and His plan for them. Despite everything that God has done for them up to this point, they chose to focus on the negative and demand things from God. They are ungrateful, blasphemous, and selfish.
I don’t want to be Israel. Ever.
But the truth is, we are often like them. Maybe we don’t ask for a physical king like they did (even though they had the Lord as their King), but we ask for other things with the wrong intentions. We ask for more money, not to bless others more, but because we think it will make us “happier” to be richer. We ask for girlfriends and boyfriends, not to lead into marriage and paint a picture of Jesus and the church for the world, but merely to have someone there to meet our needs.
In essence, we say to God “No, I don’t like your plan. Mine is better. I don’t want what you have in store for me.”
I want a king.
I want THIS relationship, THIS house in THIS city, THIS salary, THIS career, etc. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not wrong to pray for the things we want. Proverbs 15:8 says that “God delights in the prayers of the upright”. However, this should warn us to also pray for our hearts, that we would not value those things over God and over His will for our lives.
Sometimes, God doesn’t want us to have a “king”. It may be a season where those things, good in and of themselves, wouldn’t bring glory to God. Maybe we would end up worshipping them. Maybe God needs to keep them away temporarily to bring attention to a sinful part of our lives. There are many reasons why God allows certain things in our lives (and by extension, keeps some things away). Our ways are not his ways. We usually won’t understand right there and then what He is doing.
But He is doing something. Know this.
He may not give you the “king” you pray for. He may, in fact, give you something much greater; Himself.
Grace & Peace.