When I was pregnant with my first daughter, Julie, I expected a lot to be different. I understood that a baby meant a lot of changes. I knew we (my husband and I) would have a lot less space in the house as her swings, playmate, crib, etc moved in, that we would have this tiny new human that relies solely on us for everything, and that I was responsible for teaching her about Jesus and what it meant to be a child of God.
I knew everything was about to change, but to be honest, one truth didn’t quite hit me until my second daughter, Janeen, was about half a year old. No one really told me this one thing; When you become a mother, there are things you will have to give up in order to raise your kids the way God intends.
It sounds like common sense, but hear me out.
For my entire life, even pre-Jesus, I was a writer. I was even voted “Most Likely to Become an Author” in high school. Everyone knew me as a writer. It was my identity. I also love speaking and teaching. After I became a Christian, I made numerous blogs about Christian Living. I had time to serve at church in multiple ministries, be part of small groups that hung out until 1AM, and even had time to go out with friends and spread the Gospel to Miami.
Fast forward to my family living in Phoenix with one more daughter added to the mix nd things are so different. We have a great church that we love, but I don’t have the time I used to. I can’t serve in multiple ministries. Who will watch my kids while I do so? I can’t hang out at a small group until 1 AM. My kids get cranky after 9PM or so. I can’t just go out late at night and evangelize in downtown Phoenix. The kids can’t tag along (they get cranky at 9PM, remember?) and my husband is busy enough (having a full-time job and doing music).
When I decided to rebrand my blog as “The Glass House Gospel”, I told myself that I would get more serious about my blog, which meant posting every other day and promoting on social media. I had even started making graphics on Instagram and posting them every morning to promote my blog.
But I had to stop myself. Sure, I was being successful at blogging…but what was paying the cost of all my attention going towards my blog?
It was my kids.
God really had to do a work in my heart. I adore my kids, but it was hard letting go of working on my dream to “be a famous writer” in exchange for focusing on teaching my kids while they are little. There will be a time when they are in school when I can focus more attention on things like writing a book or making blog posts. But for today, in this season, the time is simply not there. And even though I believe the ability to write came from God to glorify Him, this isn’t the season for me to really focus on that. The truth is, in this season where my kids are little and my husband is really busy, there just isn’t time to do everything. Something will have to give.
No one really sat me down and explained this to me.
Mothers (and soon-to-be mothers), can we just be honest? Motherhood is hard. It really challenges you. As your kid grows and enters different stages of development, the challenges also get harder. There may be things you truly enjoy that may have to take a backseat for a while. Just keep in mind that it is just a season. Our little ones are only so little for so long. Enjoy them while you can, praise God for them, and raise them to know and love Christ as best as you can, praying for His grace and mercy along the way. The time may come when you can pick up that ministry that you love doing again, but for today, your most important disciples are pulling on your leg and asking for another cookie.